I'M JUST NOT THAT INTERESTING
Offering added value
In my last blog I told you a bit about me but apparently you’re not all that interested in me, you’re interested in what I can do for you. Which isn’t unreasonable if you’re looking for a paid service. I mean, I’ll happily have a chat with the chap who’s MOTing my car or the lady who’s servicing my boiler, but do I actually care about their lives? Probably not.
However, it is quite difficult to tell you about the unique parts of the service I offer without it being a bit personal. And it wouldn’t make a terribly interesting blog if I just told you the generic stuff. Guess what? I’ll turn up on time, I’ll photograph your wedding and when it’s over I’ll send you the pictures. Well, duh! So, what interesting aspects of me offer added value to you?
Kicking your can all over the place
It was once asserted that I had a problem with authority. This amused me no end and wasn’t strictly true. I have a problem with unmerited and highfalutin authority, but that also means I have massive respect for people who have worked their way to the top and still have their feet solidly on the ground. I like bosses that will get the mop out when there’s been a flood and who take their turn making a brew. What does this mean for you? It means I’m a pitcher-in. Yes, my primary focus is to take photographs and make sure I don’t miss any key moments. But if you’ve just got your dress on and you need to get a message to the best man, I’ll take it. If your bridesmaids are ruining their nails trying to fasten their shoes, I’ll fasten them. And if no one thought to Google how to do up a corset, I’ll strap you into that bad boy faster than an extra in Downton Abbey.
I like getting caught in the rain. I also like piña coladas. The former means that if it turns out a bit soggy on the big day I will happily stand in it to get awesome moody-weather/ happy-couple shots. Same goes for standing in rivers and puddles, climbing trees and fences and getting into standoffs with livestock. Frankly I’ve just described my childhood and I haven’t ever really grown up, it’s just that now I do it all camera-in-hand. The point is that the awesome shots are the ones that are hard to come by. If they were easy to come by then everyone would take them and they wouldn’t be special. If climbing a tree means that I can get a better shot because it cuts out your Aunt Joan waving her iPhone 6 around, then I’m going to do it.
P. A. R. T. Why?..Because I gotta!
The piña colada aspect means that I like a party and although I have a strict no-alcohol policy while I’m working, it does mean I stick around long enough to capture all the debauchery as your reception kicks off. My Mum always said “When the drink is in, the wits are out.” (Wits, I said wits!) and that means excellent candid images of Uncle Frank doing a shirtless pole dance around the grade one listed pillars whilst wearing his tie around his head like Rambo. Many photographers will leave after the first dance thereby missing out on these charming treasured memories. Maybe that’s a good thing, the choice is yours.
Retreat to the chrysalis
As much as the paragraph above paints me as a veritable social butterfly, I do have my limits. Photographing a wedding is a really long day’s work and you have to be switched on and on your best behaviour for ten hours straight. So while you’re tucking into your wedding breakfast at 4 o’clock in the afternoon (that’s a whole other blog), I will sneak off to my car and sit very still and very silent, humbly munch my cheese sandwich and dip my warm banana in a pool of melted Wispa (dirty). What this means for you is you don’t have to feed me. Many photographers will put in their contract that a meal should be provided. I request the opposite. This works out well for us both. I get a much needed rest and the opportunity to drink six Lucozades in a row without anyone judging me, and you get to save the price of what is sure to be one very expensive meal. Also, I’m a vegetarian and I appreciate that no one else needs my awkwardness in their life.
Well, I feel as though we’ve covered several of your generic blogs in one go there. ‘What if it rains on my wedding day?”, “How long should I expect my photographer to stay?”, “Should I provide a meal for my photographer?”, “If I use key phrases in my blog will more people read it?” Okay, maybe not the last one, but can you see what I did there? I’m trying to be entertaining and turn a profit, cut me some slack! Future blogs will include a closer look at some of these burning topics and I may even refrain from smearing my personality all over them like Nutella on a cheap hooker.